wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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