Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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