i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
