batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
