New invention idea: vibrating tampons
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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