We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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