That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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