so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
