I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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