Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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