Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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