i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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