Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
