hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
