Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I need water and some morals
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
