I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
