Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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