Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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