Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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