I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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