I didn't shave. On purpose
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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