if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
