You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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