wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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