C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
