Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
