I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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