So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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