college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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