Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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