So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
