I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
