I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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