I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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