If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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