she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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