you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize