Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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