ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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