Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
