And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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