Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
