And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize