Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
