party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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