You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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