My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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