thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
