Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My dick has a subreddit
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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