Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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