Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
