You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
