singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
