All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
