Only a mothe r could love this liver
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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